What I want and what i miss ( please leave a comment)?

Good Night, I am a 19 year old Jamaican Male. I had a vision of when i was 16 i would have the perfect girl and we would be together and get married. Honestly i am a pessimist and all the relationships i have been in since i was 16 have collapsed and now i am single. When i was 16 though i had a girl for a year and we broke up. I had other girlfriend and all the relationships ended (some my fault, some the girls fault) . Now i am here looking for someone new, i miss the feeling of saying i love you , i miss the feeling of telling corny jokes over the phone with a girl and she says your so lame and i laugh and say yes but u took me anyways. I miss having a girl who loves me and loves rock. We both jump and bop our heads to Korn. I guess all i want is a wifey material girl. I plan everything and i have my life planned excluding some things (i am struggling to come up with a good plan for the things i haven't figured out yet and it kills me inside). I think with the right girl (along with therapy) my life would be better. I just feel like i am missing something. What are your views on my views. This is my third question here and you guys have never let me down before.